It’s the new year and lot of people for sure have already posted essays and entries on social media and shared about how the past year went by. I usually skip the essay writing part in welcoming the new year, but with how 2021 started (which was on a really low note that even made me think in April last year if I will make it to December of 2021 alive), man, the past year was special. 🥰
But I can’t really start talking about how special 2021 was without looking back on what happened in 2020.
So please allow me to have some story time.
2020 was a tough one. You may have read it in my previous blog posts — the last half of 2020 hit me so bad. I got burned out and eventually started 2021 on a sabbatical.
Yes, I spent the first two months of the past year on a work break. I went home and stayed with my mother in Tuburan, Cebu without my work PC with me but I like to believe that many have thought that I was still working from home while I was there. But nope.
Oh, pwede pala ‘yon na magbreak?
I was fortunate enough to be given the opportunity to stay away from work sans the salary for two months; to be able to recuperate from burnout – a situation I didn’t believe at first, I actually thought it was just a coined term and never a reality…until I experienced it first hand, until my life coach mentioned it to me that I was already in burnout situation.
The sabbatical leave was an option offered to me that I didn’t even know existed in the first place. I thought it only applies for study leave back then. But it was a respite I didn’t know I needed.
The break allowed me to read books, watch TV, draft & publish blogs, edit videos for my YouTube channel, bike around town, and chase sunsets…things that I would love to do in my free time. Saya noh? Wala nga lang sahod. 🤪
Two months passed and I reported back to work.
After the break, I expected that life will be back in order.
But nah. Patikim lang daw pala yun. 🤦🏻♀️
Whaaaaat??? 😳
In April of 2021, I reached what I described as dead end in my professional life.
It was a back-to-back knockout a day after another. Literally, two consecutive days of bad news.
Due to confidentiality, I cannot disclose any further details but man, it was deadly to the point that I couldn’t understand anymore the point of working, hustling, carrying on — every single thing I attempted to do were not working out as planned. What happened were the opposite of what I wanted. I lost hope. I cried.
Burnout. Deadend.
Rock bottom.
Sh*t.
What’s next?
Then I remembered all the bills to pay. 😅 Damn! Adulting is real my friend…it easily reminded me that I couldn’t just easily give up — give up my bread and butter. Plus, the pandemic makes it 2x harder to give up a job and get a new job.
So my best option was to stay but I was just so damn tired of all the corporate life struggles. 😫
I felt in April that working until December, which is around eight months of hustling, would kill me already. I couldn’t imagine myself anymore waking up in the morning to work just because I have bills to pay. I know you’d agree that it ain’t sustainable. And having been through burnout, I know the feeling of forcing yourself to do something that you are not happy anymore. It would not do anything good to your mental health.
Yes, I was hardly happy at work as I couldn’t find the “fun” in what I do. IDK. I love being a civil engineer. I love the field I am in, civil engineering is interesting for me but at that point, I found it difficult to say that I love my job.
So, love ko na ba ang trabaho ko ngayon?
I think I have found the fun now but it is an outcome on what transpired in April last year. Forcing yourself to work just because you have bills to pay is not sustainable, right? So how to work sustainably?
After the two unfortunate days of back-to-back knockout, I woke up the next morning and found myself journaling*. I dumped all the thoughts in my head into my Limelight dotted notebook and strategized on how to work without complaining and whining in the morning every single day. What an attempt! But I wanted to believe it is possible. 😬
*One of the activities that helped save my 2021…when happy, I journaled…when sad, I journaled; basically, journaling in 2021 helped me stay sane. Journaling has become my therapy.
For someone who has already experienced burnout, my top priority now is my mental health as I cannot afford anymore going through a break with no salary. Having said that, I knew I needed a new mindset, a sustainable one that will help me go up in the morning to work inspired instead of being grumpy.
So I asked myself on what do I do best?
That time, I felt that I could contribute more if my role is a “supporting actress” or the “sixth man”. Daming arte noh?
Well, I’d like to consider myself as the dependable person who can provide the needed help for the team to “win” tasks for the day.
When I started to use on this mindset, my ultimate goal for the day is super simple. If the answer is yes to this question “were you able to help the team WELL today?”, then it would be a good day. Yes, I truly did that. I took it one day at a time. I asked myself that same question at the end of every single work day and I answered honestly through my journal. And that was helpful.
I also stopped entertaining the idea that “I am not happy doing this job.” Instead, I started to look on becoming happy because I have done something for the team.
That shift in mindset really made the difference.
Yeah!
My initial target was to be able to help well the team for one quarter. It was good. The next quarter, I got commended. Kinilig talaga akooooo. See blog entitled Today. Then I just continued having the same mindset until the last quarter of the year.
And just like that, gosh, I made it!
I survived eight months!
It was fun. I had fun.
Quite a ride but really amazed on how things panned out. I did think it was dead end already but hey, don’t forget that you can make a detour! And then you can proceed with the journey. There are roads that are congested, some bumpy but let’s not forget there are also those that are picture perfect.
Nevertheless, we’ll all reach our destination.
I took it one day at a time. One week at a time. One month at a time. One quarter at a time. Until I finished the year.
Per a Jordin Sparks song: Take one step at a time, there’s no need to rush. 🎶 Really makes sense! 🙌🏼
One thing, a lot can happen in a year, but the mindset shift was really my 2021’s game changer.
And the best thing ? I am alive and made it to 2022! 🤙🏼
Thank you for the wonderful lessons, 2021. You were a tough one but wouldn’t want it any other way.
Excited for 2022.
Happy New Year!
Cheers. 🥂✨
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